Simeli Mountain

This romping short script was written in response to MoviePoet.com's recent monthly challenge: write an adaptation of a Grimm Brothers' fairy tale. What a daunting task. The Grimm tales are readily accessible on-line, but it is clear that they were jotted down centuries ago with little thought devoted to story structure.

You can find an original version of the story at this excellent archive of Grimm stories.

I discovered that this little-known story seemed to be a corruption of the old Ali Baba stories. Primarily, the similarity of "Open sesame" and "Semsi mountain" seemed too fun an opportunity to pass up. So, after letting my imagination simmer on the project for a while, I came up with some original angles with which to tackle the interesting task of adaptation. Enjoy!

SIMELI MOUNTAIN by Kyle Patrick Johnson Represented by: Canton Literary Management (CLM) Contact: Eric Canton (866) 429-3118 ECanton@Prodigy.net www.CantonLiteraryManagement.com FADE IN: INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT A windowless dark. MELVYN (30s), thin, a confused look in his eyes, wears a bathrobe. He clings to a stair rail with both arms, puts a tentative toe onto the next step down. NARRATOR (V.O.) ’Twas the night before nothing, the ninth of December, when Melvyn crept downstairs for chores unremembered. As though waking anew from uniform and tie, he now wore pajamas, but did not know why. Nor did he recall the featureless room. Was he in outer space, out-of-body in his tomb? A fluorescent ceiling light flickers on, reveals a heavy vault door in a cement wall, a voice-recognition access code box next to it. Melvyn drifts over to it, a moth to light. He punches in a four-digit code. NARRATOR (V.O.) Drawn to the box, to the microphone, when... he heard his own voice say: MELVYN Semsi Mountain. A red-lettered display on the access box: “Hello, Melvyn.” The vault door heaves open with a metallic crunch. NARRATOR (V.O.) When what to his wondering eyes should appear but a gaping great portal to next fiscal year. Safety deposit boxes inside. Millions of them. Melvyn, face bright with greed, walks inside-THE VAULT The massive door creaks shut behind him. NARRATOR (V.O.) But something was wrong! His legs were stuck fast, for his moral high ground had rebooted at last. A crime to steal from this treasure fountain! His voice quavered out a thin: 2. MELVYN Semsi Mountain. The door groans open again. BASEMENT Melvyn backs out of the vault, stumble-runs up the stairs. The vault door rumbles closed. Underneath the stairs, bright eyes watch from the shadows: BARNABY (30s), in a bank guard’s uniform. NARRATOR (V.O.) Don't fear for Melvyn, he's programmed to do it by a mental anomaly with no name to it. Melvyn flicks the light switch off as he disappears. INT. VAULT - NIGHT (FLASHBACK) Melvyn, masked and clothed in black, tosses the contents of the safety deposit boxes into large canvas bags. NARRATOR (V.O.) See, he’s condemned to repeat the last action he'd done before getting fried from a taserful stun. Barnaby comes up behind him, flanked by an entire S.W.A.T. TEAM. Barnaby fires a Taser into Melvyn’s right temple. Melvyn’s hair stands up straight as he falls down. INT. COURTROOM - DAY Melvyn, cross-eyed, drooling, sits handcuffed in the defendant’s chair as the JUDGE (70s) raps the gavel. NARRATOR (V.O.) The lawyers gave argument, precedent, and place, but that was not why the judge tossed the case. JUDGE I hate you, I loathe you, you petty little thief. But you’ve lost your marbles. NARRATOR (V.O.) To his mother’s relief. In the audience, Melvyn’s MOTHER (60s) clasps joyful hands. 3. INT. MOTHER’S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY Mother sprawls on the dining room table, unable to spoon oatmeal between Melvyn’s slobbering lips. NARRATOR (V.O.) But her joy was short-lived. Indeed, how could it last with Melvyn forever enshrined in his past? She consulted physicians from each ilk and breed, but no hope from Mayo, nor e’en Walter Reed. Mother heaves herself into a sitting position. Determination shines in her eyes as she opens a phone book. MOTHER If you wanna be treated just like a barbarian! NARRATOR (V.O.) His mother went and called a veterinarian. INT. VETERINARIAN’S OFFICE - DAY VETERINARIAN (40s) peers into Melvyn’s wide open mouth. Mother stands to the side, hopeful, silly grin. NARRATOR (V.O.) He’d poked and he’d prodded, fed him a sweet, and finally evolved a new way to treat. VETERINARIAN Injury from a Taser to the brain, beyond doubt. If a Taser put him in, then it should bring him out. Veterinarian pulls a Taser from a drawer marked “Restraints”. Zaps Melvyn in the left temple. Melvyn’s hair plasters flat as he shoots upright. He gives a thumbs-up. Veterinarian flashes a confident smile at Mother. INT. MOTHER’S HOUSE - BEDROOM - NIGHT Two beds. Melvyn sleeps with soft snores. In the other bed, Barnaby pretends to sleep, in uniform under blankets. NARRATOR (V.O.) So out now he sleepwalks as regular rite. The twist? His brother followed him tonight. 4. INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT (BACK TO PRESENT) The fluorescent light flickers on. Barnaby. He marches down the steps, an enormous keyring jangles at his waist. NARRATOR (V.O.) Melvyn, poor man, walks the vices of men. But Barnaby could turn, can choose... Barnaby enters a four-digit code into the access box. BARNABY Semsi Mountain. “Hello, Melvyn.” The door yawns open. Barnaby rubs his hands. NARRATOR (V.O.) Barnaby did it. And lo, his mouth watered. With one step was his... Barnaby swaggers into the vault. The door closes. NARRATOR (V.O.) ...golden goose slaughtered. INT. VAULT - SAME The safety deposit boxes are plundered, the keys hang from an opened box. Money, stocks, bonds, jewels, gold nuggets, silver pieces, strewn everywhere. Barnaby bathes in wealth. NARRATOR (V.O.) Greed defies reason, men act with no sense. That’s why moments of bliss are just that: moments. Barnaby’s watch beeps an alarm. He panics. BARNABY Um. Uh, uh. Simeli Mountain? He pushes on the door. It does not budge. He yells louder. BARNABY Simeli Mountain! Simeli Mountain! NARRATOR (V.O.) When greed overtakes men, can naught make them see? Their brains turn to mush, can’t remember Semsi. But the righting hand of nature from chaos is swift. Barnaby should have known. The end of his shift. 5. Barnaby crumples into a little ball, sweeps as many valuables into his arms as possible, hugs them tight to his chest. The vault door eases open, a groan of discontent. Melvyn stands there, in the uniform of a bank guard. His mouth falls open. Behind him gapes a BANK MANAGER (50s), impeccable suit, slicked-back hair. BARNABY Melvyn made me do it, he put me to it. It was always his plan, and he walked me through it. NARRATOR (V.O.) Didn’t I mention the hand had been righted? Be on its good side, lest it feel unrequited. As you shall see... BANK MANAGER No, this can’t be true. I see Melvyn here, and there I see you. Bank Manager punches a number into a cell phone. BANK MANAGER I’m calling the police. You made me do it. MELVYN Barnaby, why in the name of-BARNABY Oh, screw it. Barnaby stands, drops the valuables, charges at Melvyn. MELVYN Semsi Mountain! The vault door creaks shut. Barnaby dives for the door, tries to get through. Only his head emerges before the heavy door closes. His head pops off neatly, no blood. The head rolls to Melvyn’s feet. NARRATOR (V.O.) The moral? Fine, the moral. I’d prefer it unsaid. Ahem. When amongst the treasures of this world, don’t lose your head. FADE OUT.